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Accountability Is A Two-Way Street

     I have a question for you.  Say you wanted to read a magazine that had a lot of sexually explicit content in it.  Would your wife have an issue with this?  Would she love you enough to hold you accountable and say, “I love you and I don’t want you to read that because it will damage your relationship with both me and God?”  Wouldn’t you appreciate her holding you accountable?


     What if you overheard your daughter’s boyfriend telling his buddy that he is so excited to go see the latest shoot-em-up action flick, and you knew this movie not only has the action sequences, but also depicts violent rape and abuse of women?  Wouldn’t you want to both protect your daughter and also warn the guy about how this movie will damage his soul?  Wouldn’t you hold him accountable?


     What if your sister noticed you talking on Facebook about watching a new series on Netflix and how you can’t wait for the next episode?  She is concerned that this show is very degrading to women and depicts such things as S&M and violent sex.  Wouldn’t you want her to tell you her concerns out of love for you?  Wouldn’t you appreciate her love and holding you accountable?


     I certainly hope you answered “yes” to all of these questions.  In the Christian world, it is taught and encouraged for women to help hold men accountable, especially spouses, when it comes to sexual temptations and entertainment.  We welcome the accountability, understanding that it is done out of love and a desire to keep us from falling into sin or exposing ourselves to temptations.  I, for one, appreciate it. 


     However, now the shoe is on the other foot.  It is time for God’s men to step to the plate and help our wives, our sisters, our moms, and our daughters accountable.  It is time we show them love and encourage them to take a personal stand and not read a popular book or watch a much-anticipated movie that the enemy is using to trap women into sexual sin. What is it?  It is four words:  “Fifty Shades of Grey”


     Social media and the internet are all abuzz about a new movie coming out based on the book “Fifty Shades of Grey”.  Guys, this is an attack against women, and we need to help them overcome in the same way that they always love us enough to call us on the carpet and say, “Stay away from that!”


     The buzz on this movie and book intensified when the Today Show premiered the trailer for the movie in late July.  Suddenly everyone was talking about the book, the trailer, and the movie that will be released in 2015.    Right from the start, it was clear that there were two distinct points of view on the subject:  Satan and God’s. 


     Okay---that may be a little blunt, but from my perspective, it’s the truth.  There were those who were promoting Satan’s lie that the book and movie were just forms of entertainment.  No big deal.   It’s art.  It’s harmless.  It’s not going to hurt anyone, and, of course, the popular old line, “Everybody is on the band wagon, you don’t want to be the only prude left behind.” 


     Those who were promoting God’s agenda had a completely different message.  They spoke boldly and called the movie what it was: glorified pornography, trash, demeaning to women, and completely against God’s Word!


     Since the trailer first came out…and I’m sure until the movie plays in the last theatre…both voices will continue to be heard.  In the end, what’s important is the choice that each individual daughter of God makes.  Guys, we need to love them enough to hold them accountable and help them decide.


     As you might have already guessed, I will not support them watching or reading it.   I cannot!  I love my sister’s in Christ too much!   This book/movie simply endorses and promotes things that are not only against the Bible, but they are completely destructive to the entire female gender.   So how can we as God’s men help the women in our lives decide to shun this movement? 


     Here are some basic, common sense talking points to use when discussing it with them.


1.    If you choose to support Fifty Shades of Grey, you are supporting Pornography.


     Sound a little drastic?


     Well, let’s look at the definition of “Pornography”:   It means: “the depiction of erotic behavior (as in pictures or writing) intended to cause sexual excitement.   Material (as books or a photograph) that depicts erotic behavior and is intended to cause sexual excitement.”


     That’s the entire movie!   All you have to do is read a review or description of the movie to know that this isn’t PG-rated sex---this is hard core pornography filled with bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism.   When you read this book or watch this movie, you are supporting the pornography industry as it uses this movie to popularize it’s filth into main stream entertainment. 


     Of course, you can read lots of Christian blogs about this.   (Where do you think I’m getting my information?)   There are a myriad of articles questioning how the same women who have rallied against male pornography for decades are now embracing this movie.   They bring up the points “how can someone rationalize the knowledge that pornography plays an active role in the crime of rape, the breakdown in the American family, and the disintegration of relationships, yet still endorse this movie that is filled with the same addictive pornography”.   They are all very good articles all endorsing the point that if you support this movie you are supporting pornography. 


     Unfortunately, what I haven’t read much of is the next reason that I believe no woman should see this movie or read this book:  


2.    If you choose to support Fifty Shades of Grey, you are supporting Abuse.


     The plot of the movie is a disturbing fantasy about a wealthy man physically dominating a woman.   It’s a woman’s adventures in being manhandled and used by an emotionally stunted playboy. (http://themattwalshblog.com)  


     That’s Abuse! 


     I, for one, don’t want to see my sister or friends reading a book that shows accepting abuse as romantic or okay.  I don’t want my future wife filling her mind that this is acceptable.


     Let me to you straight out---it isn’t.   At least, not in real life.


     It isn’t romantic when a beautiful young woman’s face has been bashed beyond recognition by a boyfriend or husband. 


     It isn’t sexy when a woman has to move into a woman’s shelter after years of being manipulated and lied to be a controlling man.


     It’s definitely not entertaining to see a young Mom being carried out in a body bag because she didn’t do exactly what the man in her life wanted. 


     After years of seeing the pain and heartache in the eyes of abused women, watching them struggle with the pain in their bodies from injuries that never completely healed, and being there as they endured counseling sessions desperately trying to overcome the control an evil man gained over their minds, I find it appalling that any woman---Christian or non-Christian--- could see this crisis as entertainment.   


      In real life, the lasting effects are just too damaging, the stories are just too horrific, and the loss of those who never escape is just too tragic for me to accept seeing my sister’s in Christ give one cent of God’s money supporting this book or film.   Which brings us to the third point:


3.  It sends a message to Hollywood that more of these movies should be made.    


     Have no doubt about it---when someone pays to see a movie or purchase a book, they are supporting the values and lifestyles that are being endorsed by the author, no matter how sick or perverted they may be.  


      Think about it:  A few months ago, we all heard the argument that Christians needed to go see the Bible movies that came out in the theatres to send a message to Hollywood that there was an audience for this type of entertainment.  According to that logic, doesn’t going to see this movie or reading this book send the message that there is an audience for violent pornography and propaganda condoning abuse?  


      When it comes to entertainment, you vote with your dollars.   When a women votes to support Fifty Shades of Grey, she is also voting pro-pornography, pro-defamation of woman, and pro-abuse.  It’s something to point out to them to think about before they make their choice.  


       Some reading this article will say no man has a right to tell a woman what she can and cannot watch.  My answer is “I am not encouraging male dominance or suppression of women.  I am instead encouraging men to respect women enough to have a reasoned conversation that encourages them to use their intelligence to see the dangers of this movie.  I am also supporting equality among the sexes…if women can hold guys accountable, doesn’t equality mean men can hold women accountable as well?”


       This is a serious topic.  Men, we need to step up and love the women God has blessed us to have in our lives and help them see the dangers that the Fifty Shades of Grey movement poses to both their spiritual lives and to women as a whole.  I ask you today, will you accept the challenge?


       Will you choose to share these points with the women in your life to help them understand why they should say “No” to Fifty Shades of Grey?


       Will you choose to speak out against this movie, pornography, and propaganda for abuse in all forms? 


       Will you be an agent that advances good or evil, God’s ways or Satan’s?


        If you are a pastor or youth leader, will you dare to speak openly and honestly against this movie and tell your parishioners not to go?


        It’s a pretty blunt question, but it’s a seriously dangerous movie.  The fight against good and evil is black and white.   There are no gray areas here---just choices.   God’s daughters, our sisters in Christ, hang in the balance. 


        What will you choose? 



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