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Count the Letters….PMS Is Not A Four-Letter Word by Jamie Holden

     Yes, we’re going there!  Why? Because God’s men need to be willing to grow in every area of our relationships, even the ones we don’t want to deal with around us.  


     Recently, I read a newspaper article about a website that sends emails to men when the women in their lives are about to go through PMS.  These emails tell the man when the cycle will start and how to stay out of the way of the pms’ing woman.  It even listes a color coded warning level similar to our nation’s terrorist threat warnings. 


       At first glance, the article seemed funny; but as I thought more about it, I realized how offensive this idea really was.  As God’s men, we need to take a different view of Pms.  It is time we develop compassion to pms’ing woman.


      Many men act as if women getting pms is a plot against them.  However, we need to re-examine our behavior when it comes to this time of the month.  We are missing an opportunity to be knights in shining armor to the women we interact with who are suffering greatly in their body.  We need to become godly men in this area.  The best way to do this is to see how Jesus dealt with women’s pms.


    In the Gospel’s we read that Jesus was approached by an important man named Jarius, a ruler in the Jewish synagogue.  Jarius, had a life and death emergency–his little girl was dying.   Jesus needed to come NOW to heal her.   There was absolutely no time to waste.  


    Jesus agreed to go with Jarius to His house.   A large crowd of people followed to see what would happen to this important man’s daughter.    Suddenly, Jesus stopped. 


   Jesus turned to the crowd and said, “Who touched Me?”  


    The disciples, trying to move Him along asked, “Jesus, there are crowds of people here.   What do you mean ‘Who touched You?’ 


    Still, Jesus was not to be rushed.   He had an appointment with a woman who was just as important to Him as Jarius.   He wanted to talk to her.


   You see, Jesus knew who touched Him.   He knew all about this woman.   He knew that she had suffered for years with a feminine condition.    He saw the days she was exhausted from the constant loss of blood.   He knew the toll that years of hormonal imbalance had taken on her body and her life.   He knew the impact her condition had on her relationships with her family, her friends and even God.   He knew she was desperate for help.   Today, He intended to help her.  To Jesus, she was important.  He treated her problem like a sickness and He healed it.   


   So, the question is, “How do we, as followers of Christ, follow His example?”  How do we treat the women in our lives as they deal with PMS, pregnancy, and menopause?  


   The first thing we can do to follow Jesus’ example is to recognize that these are real sicknesses that women struggle with.   Women do not have PMS to make men’s lives difficult.   Jesus treated this woman like she had a real disease that needed to be healed.   As His followers, we need to adopt the same attitude.   When women have PMS they are actually fighting real physical symptoms. 


  Think of the last time you had the flu.   No matter how much you wanted to go on with your life and plans, you weren’t able to feel normal until the virus left your body.   Women are the same way.  They are not conspiring to torture us.   They don’t want to feel badly, they just do.   It is time we as godly men recognize that hormonal fluctuation is a true physical problem and help the women in our lives the way they help us when we are sick. 


   I hear you saying, “But Jamie, you’re single.   What do you know about this?”


    I have a sister who has very difficult monthly cycles.   There have been times we’ve had to take her to the hospital because the pain was so bad.   Other months, she gets very tired and very hard to live with.   She will tell you, she just isn’t herself, she is sick.   Also, when I was growing up my Mom went through a very difficult early menopause.   I saw the physical and emotional toll it took on her body.   There were times she didn’t even seem like my Mom nor act like Mom. 


  I regret that when I was younger I didn’t always recognize their problems as legitimate sicknesses.   I looked at how their problems affected me.   Now that I am older, I can see that this attitude was wrong.   As God’s men, we need to stop looking at their suffering through selfish, self-centered eyes and start modeling Jesus’ compassion and concern for women. 


   How do we do that?   Well, the first thing we can do is get our eyes off ourselves.   This is not a time for delicate, sensitive male egos.   This is a time for maturity.     Don’t take every little thing she says to heart, get offended, and pout.  Let it roll off your back.   If she says it again when she’s feeling better– she meant it.   Otherwise, let it go.   Keep things light and stress free.   This will help her feel better.


   What else should you do?   This is your chance to be a hero–an opportunity to show your male strength.  Make her life easier.   Clean up after dinner and let her take a rest.  Better yet, offer to bring home dinner and give her a break.   Pick up after yourself.   Vacuum a floor.   Fold a load of laundry.   Help her the way she helps you when you are sick.


    Do it all without expecting anything in return–not even gratitude.   Do it as unto the Lord because you want to follow Jesus’ example on how to treat women.   Remember that they are just as important to Jesus as any crisis you need to solve or any important person you need to impress.   Follow Jesus’ example and show the women in your life the same unselfish compassion, understanding and help that He did. 


   It's true, PMS isn't a four letter word.  But you know what is? L-O-V-E.  That is how we should treat a women experiencing PMS, with love, compassion, and grace.


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